Tuesday, May 26, 2015

I have never described myself as fearless.

I have struggled with both physical fear and emotional fear since as long as I can remember. Laying in bed at night, I was always afraid I would awake to someone breaking into our house. I have been afraid that Jesus won't love me when I sin. I am scared people won't think highly of me or respect me because of my age.

Psalm 27:1 is tattooed on my arm because of this reason. "The Lord is my light and my salvation so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress protecting me from eveil so why should I tremble?"

I have recently been meditating on the story in the bible when Peter walks on water. Peter walks on the water torward Jesus and starts to sink because he is afraid. Jesus had given me this story as an example for my life. I will sink out of fear of what is around me at all times if I do not keep my eyes on Jesus. 

The waves around me as I walk torward Jesus are my fears. Fear of failure or not being good enough. Fear of what others think of me. Fear of sin. Keeping my eyes on Jesus will not make me perfect but Jesus doesn't expect that from me. Keeping my eyes on Jesus will help me to walk in what he wants me to walk in. 

All this being said, I met with a wonderful woman a few months back. As we entered into conversation she, without knowing my fear of fear, described me as "fearless". And of course I cried and told her this story. God spoke through Stephanie that day. I needed that confermation. Jesus is so good.

  1. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. - Matthew 14:22-23

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